Letting go of the past, or someone you loved or still love is a tough thing to do. All the love, the anger, and all rest out of the cornucopia of emotions are difficult to overcome. Sometimes we are are still too attached to it, and emotions are stronger then reason.
If you have the feeling of can’t let go, you are not alone! There are many people that hold on to things that are already gone a long time ago, and the only thing that remained are memories and suffering. Don´t be one of those people!
Letting go and move on is a hard task but it´s doable and highly rewarding. Think of you holding a rope with a huge rock tethered to the other end. If you carry that rock with the rope it will just cut your hands open. That means, the first thing you have to do is to release your grip on whatever it is that’s holding you back.
An act of liberation
Letting go means to release all doubt, worry, fear or negative memory about a situation, person or outcome. It needs an active choice to do so, because without that, it´s just a mere thought that never develops into anything. Certainly it is a start if you start ruminating the idea of change and letting go but you need to take action to make it reality.
You need to give your mind and soul time to heal! Even if you let go of negative experiences in the past or worries about the future, you still stay vigilant on yourself.
Don´t fall prey to overthinking or procrastination! Overthinking will just lead you back into old thought patterns and the vortex of guilt, fear and anxiety will suck you in again.
Example: So how let go of the past?
There is a saying that the teacher will not appear until the student is ready for the lesson. In case of letting go, it´s you and your development as a person that needs to guide your old you out of the past.
Focus on growth and building momentum. Don´t get stuck in thinking about what “should have been”! Deciding to hold on to the past will hold you back from creating a strong sense of self. You can see it as a form of selfcare to let go of the past. The new you isn´t attached to those things and people anymore, it´s free!
There might be some things happen that you do not like but turn out to be good for you in the long run. Letting go especially when it comes to our fellow humans is sometimes emotionally tiring. But as mentioned above it´s highly rewarding.
You need to embrace change and uncertainty though. The fact that you let go will have an effect on your life and your surroundings. Maybe you need to let go of a close person because subconsciously he/she is not good for you. Some people have trouble letting go of their pain or other unpleasant emotions about their past because they think those feelings are part of their identity. Don´t be that person, you are more then that!
If you really have serious troubles to let go, ask for help! Don´t be too proud or too shy! You deserve a good life, always remember that!
No matter if you want to let go of a former loved one, toxic people, a past friendship, or emotions that do you more harm then good. Here are my tips for you to overcome the emotional barrieres
9 tips to practise letting go with an untroubled mind
Make a decision and stick to it, come what may
How is your current situation? Do you have something that took its turns on your head, cloaking your mind, going with you whereever you go being the main thought pattern?
Such thoughts, be it about a relationship, friendship or a situation or incident are main reasons why you should start to let go. However, the initial spark must come from your inner self. You must decide to let go, in full consciousness.
This inner spark should be the main motivator to keep you going when times get rough again. Letting go is no easy task and it needs time, therefore just as much patience and understanding of change on your end.
You need to stick to you decision once its made. No more „What ifs“ or „What could have happened“. You are on a new path now and it leads to a new kind of happiness.
Letting go doesn´t mean to give up
Actually the opposite is true! You need to release your mental clutter, clean up the closet and don´t let anybody tell you otherwise. Giving up would just be surrender to a situation passively, while letting go means to actively let life happen. At this point you stand above the decision making, the unhealthy thinking habits and the constant ruminating.
To let go is a liberation. The freedom to express yourself the way you are. Like if you are in an unhealthy relationship, letting your partner go is tough. However it´s not about giving up trying to change the other, it´s letting the other be whoever he/she wants to be, just without you. That also means, don´t be too invested in a certain supposedly desired outcome.
Giving up would be victim mentality and let fate push you through life. When you let go, you follow the stream, effortlessly.
Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise
If you are unhappy in a relationship but you can´t pinpoint it at this stage, try different perspectives. Be gentle with yourself and try a physical distance from the partner or situation.
You have plenty of time. Work on yourself. Try new things and techniques that can help you find the pain point in your situation that you need to let go off.
Treat yourself as your own best friend.
You can try guided mediations like the ones that are available for free on Youtube. You can try to visualize and jot down your ideas about how life should unfold for you. If you do that, affirmations to keep you on that path could be useful. Practise a mindfullness to explore your mind for the cause of your issues. When we start practicing being in the present moment, our worries have less control over us.
If you are no longer focussed on a certain outcome or a specific person coming into you life, all of a sudden, life shows you new opportunities that you weren´t aware of before.
It´s like an eye opening experience. The release of stress and anxiety is like a theater manager that pulls off the curtains, revealing the actors behind it for everybody to see.
You done something brave, you dared to let go. Not everybody has that power! Now use your new found freedom to explore the possibilities life has to offer. The intense positive experience could be so relieving that your whole life changes to the better.
Welcome that change. Be open and let life happen. A calm mind sees the good in change and can take inspired action as soon as the time feels right for your next step.
Stop self limiting believes
In case the previous point is difficult for you, you might need to work on limiting beliefs first.
First of all, you are enough and you deserve the best life possible, just to make that perfectly clear! Certainly, letting go of behaviour and routines that you cultivated for years isn´t easy though.
Again the above mentioned techniques like meditation, visualization and affirmations could be proven useful. Another great way to get rid of limiting beliefs and let go with a peaceful mind is journaling.
Journaling means to write down all limiting beliefs you have. Take 5-10 minutes each day and write down the beliefs and think about „are they really true“? Try to take a friends perspective. Would a close friend tell you this things? This kind of helicopter view on things and thought patterns should help you get over them in no time.
Letting go of the idea of anticipating others reactions
We already talked about – Letting go means change. Be aware that not everybody in your environment will be happy about you letting go of old things. Some might leave your life for good after learning about your changes. You need to accept that as a possibility.
You can´t predict how a person will react to a given situation, so it´s pointless to again overthink and just go crazy with things that just happen in your imagination.
People change over time, but they change only according to their own path, not someone else’s. So if you have a close person, their change must come from themselves. If they can´t follow your path, it is absolutely necessary for you to still keep going your own way.
Those who will stay at your side are the ones that will be important for your future, liberated life. Letting go means letting go of your own anticipations and imagination as well.
It´s ok that it needs time – trust the process
See it as a journey! Not even the shortest trip is done within moments. Take your time!
Communicate with others what works for you and doesn’t work for you and don´t bottle up your emotions. Expressing yourself is an important part of feeling good about yourself and your relationships.
There will be ups and downs, that´s just natural. Don´t ignore your negative emotion! It will just extend your suffering. Loss is difficult to experience, and it’s okay to allow yourself to hurt and be sad. Let yourself feel, and go through the grief process so that you can move forward.
The more impactful an event was or the more closer the person was, the longer is the road to freedom. The final letting go moment is out there, you just have to beliefe it to be there and just follow the provided path
Forgive and accept that other person might not change with you
Resentment and unwillingness to forgive will keep you locked in the past. If you want to make the next steps in life, you need to forgive and find peace with a situation or a person. To forgive someone doesn´t change the other person, it changes inside of you.
There is no need to wait for an apology or an excuse. Forgiveness must be unconditional to work out. In some cases I´m full aware that this is a lot to ask from you but unfortunately there is no way around.
The fact that you close a case in your heart and soul is the key element here. Everything happens in your mind. The other person don´t need to know, it´s about you and your change of perception.
Accept the fact that some people simply don´t want to change. It´s ok for them, but if you want to let go of past issues, it´s not your way
Ask for help if necessary
Sometimes a situation is so difficult and overwhelming that you can´t handle it alone. Then it´s time to ask for a professional.
It could be difficult to implement these tips on your own. A professional can support you going through this process and guides you through it. Don´t feel ashamed or be too shy to ask for help. Letting go of old harmful things, people, situations or emotions is a hard thing, and should not be underestimated.
Don´t feel weak because of that. With change comes uncertainty and that is something we humans are inherently afraid of. Sometimes a few minutes of someone just listening to your thoughts can be enough.
21 quotes of how to letting go
Letting go can help you overcome mental blocks and bring solution you haven´t even dreamed about. We’re all here to grow and flourish and we all deserve to be happy. Having to let go of things that were once important could be a painful experience, but completely normal nonetheless. None of us stay the same. The only thing constant is change. We grow and change constantly. That doesn’t mean that everything in our lives will grow in the same direction or at the same time.
Letting go is one of the hardest, but one of the bravest things you can do. Leaving everything that troubled you behind is the chance to life the most fulfilling life possible, Be ready with open arms to welcome it!
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